February Song
by Old Romantic
Summary: Birthday fic for rizny. Movieverse. Spoilers for SR. Superman left Lois pregnant and alone, which is why she's so angry. Inspired by Josh Groban’s February Song.
1. Part One: Lost in a February Song

**Timeline:** During and after _Superman Returns_; Spoilers for _Superman I, II_, and _Returns  
_**Disclaimer:** Lots of people own the rights to Superman…except me. *cries*

**Summary:** Birthday fic for **rizny. **Superman left Lois pregnant and alone. Inspired by Josh Groban's _February Song. _

**A/N:** There was just way too much bitterness, anger, and hostility in Lois' voice in SR that I just couldn't let the idea go that there's a history between her and Superman that hasn't yet been told. This is my attempt to tell that story, especially now that we're not getting another movie. *tear*

Also, just so you know, I haven't read much in the way of Superman fic (or comics, etc.), so if I seem a little green (esp. since this is my first Supe story), I apologize. **rizny** only asked for a nice, happy fic (Clois, I assumed ;) ) that included Richard, and surprisingly, this plot that I've had rolling around in my brain for the last two years totally fit that criteria. So yay!!

This story has taken so many avenues, being written and rewritten and completely discarded only to be resurrected almost two years later… Let's just hope this is its last trip. :) Thanks to **htbthomas** for the beta!! *hugs*

Enjoy!!

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**Part One: **Lost in a February Song

The words repeated in his mind, like a broken record:

_Were you in love with him?_

_He was Superman – everyone was in love with him._

_But were you?_

And her reply, one simple word that now haunted him even more than the others: _No._

It hadn't turned out anything like he'd thought it would have. Sure, he was gone a long time but he'd always thought that love had no time limit; Lois would wait for his return. Surely she knew he would come back, even if he hadn't had the guts to tell her why he was leaving instead of just disappearing the way he had, at least in her eyes. But in retrospect, he should've said _something._

She'd been a little foggy after he'd erased her memory with a kiss, but didn't harp on it too long; after all, she'd written the article covering their experience with General Zod and his band of Kryptonian rebels, so there was no need for the memory. Still, he could tell that it bothered her, at least now and then.

He tried working with her, but it turned out to be as difficult for him as she'd claimed it to be that first morning back at work, trying to pretend they were just friends. But he knew what it was like to kiss and intimately touch her and could not just push it to the back of his mind. His apartment was empty and lonely each night, so he spent some time visiting with Martha back in Smallville, eventually confessing at least some of what had transpired between him and Lois when his mother called him on it.

Without going into details, he told her about their brief relationship, confessing why he'd had to put an end to it and Martha just sat back and listened until he was through. Then she asked some pointed questions that led to the epiphany that Lois' problem had been that she knew the truth about his identity. She loved Superman and could probably handle his busy lifestyle, but having to pretend that she wasn't in love with her awkward partner was a bit tougher.

_Superman can have a relationship with her, but that doesn't mean that Clark has to_, she'd said, and suddenly he saw the world open up before his eyes.

He presented Lois with flowers and a confession of love on her balcony the next evening, and almost immediately, they were inseparable.

Lois already had the exclusive reports on his rescues, but now she didn't have to chase him down for them; he volunteered them. In fact, on a few occasions, she was an actual eyewitness, since things would happen while they were out and he had to be the hero. Soon, the press got wind of it, and random pictures would show up in tabloids with headlines for stories blown out of proportion, but for the most part, they ignored them. So far, no one had any real proof of anything except that they were spending more time together, and her frequent articles explained away most of the rumors.

They spent a few nights at her apartment, but for the sake of privacy, his Fortress became their prime nighttime spot, spending entire weekends there when she (or he) wasn't working at the paper. For the entire month of February, she was wholly his, and she never once suspected that he and Clark were one and the same.

And then he saw the article.

It was a short, mundane story published in the science section of the paper, tucked away almost unnoticeable. But with his x-ray vision, he'd seen the headline even before opening the pages to read it more slowly. _Astronomers Find Evidence of Krypton_. What if they'd found his home world? What if there were survivors?

He'd intended to tell Lois that he was planning a trip to see Krypton for himself, but he didn't want to see her happiness turn into that same sadness he'd seen that fateful morning, when he'd kissed her, expecting never to hold her in his arms again. He didn't want to taint the beautiful bond they'd built with the prospect of a dangerous trip, from which he might not ever return. If and when he did come back, he thought she'd simply be relieved, and the two of them would pick up where they left off. He had no idea that she would be angry enough to move on without him.

Speeding up as he reached outer space, he heard his father's voice in his mind, reminding him, _you are not one of them._ She had a right to move on, and Richard did seem like a decent enough guy and Jason… He was a great kid, and he knew she was lucky to have him, too.

He just hadn't expected it to hurt so much knowing that she'd moved on so _soon_ after he'd left. It would've been nice to know if she'd pined for him at least a little…

He had to focus on his purpose. _They could be a great people, Kal-El – they wish to be,_ his father had said, going on to tell him that that's why he was sent to Earth. So, as he floated in space, he closed his eyes and listened, focusing all of his attention on his adopted planet, trying to live his purpose. Whatever it was, he knew he had to let Lois go, and not expect her to be a part of it anymore.

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	2. Part Two: All That You Need to Love

**Part Two: **All that You Need to Love

From the moment Lois stepped onto the yacht with her son, she'd known she was asking for trouble. And she regretted it the moment he realized his own power and killed one of their captors in her defense.

Locked up in the pantry, Lois tried her best to steady her breathing, but all she could think about was how badly she'd screwed up. It was just like on the plane, strapped to the space shuttle, when everything went wrong; even though he hadn't been around for more than five years, she _expected_ Superman to save her, just like he had from all of her other fiascos. For some reason, she'd managed to stay out of any other major pickles until that one, and the moment he returned, she found herself taking more risks, expecting to be rescued. But now she'd unwisely gotten her little boy involved and she hated herself for it.

She felt so sorry for the little thing, sitting on the floor across from her, once she'd tried all she could to get them out of that room, doing his best to entertain himself with putting olives on his fingers or using spoons like drumsticks on the floor. How could she do this to him? It wasn't his fault that he was brought into the world _and_ had to have the unusual abilities attributed to his birth father. She'd known it was a possibility since the day she discovered she was pregnant.

Her month-long tryst with the superhero was something of the past now, just memories she tried to forget during the months after he disappeared. Except Jason became a permanent reminder and something she'd never regret.

He was only gone a couple of days when she knew that something was up. She searched the news for stories, scanned the skies day and night, and even called out his name on occasion. She'd even been tempted to get herself into trouble to see if that might bring him back around, but before she had a chance to plan something that she would survive through if he didn't show up, there were a string of accidents and robberies and disasters that he surely would've been there to stop or help out with. Lois knew he was really gone.

Writing up a story about his disappearance the way she knew Perry would expect, Lois went through the motions of her daily routine, searching every face on the street as if expecting him to reappear and blend in with the crowd. She wondered what she would do for article ideas since Superman had been her main topic for so long…and then Perry gave her a new assignment.

_This is my nephew, Richard. I'd like you to show him around. Help him get settled here in Metropolis_, Perry had said.

Lois hadn't felt up to playing tour guide, but apparently, Perry had thought it would be just the trick to help her forget Superman. So she grudgingly took Richard out to look for a place to live, and in the meantime, she got to know him. They spent the next three weeks together, every day, looking at house listings and having meals together, and she even allowed him to take her up in his plane.

But then her whole world changed when she got the news from her doctor during a regular check-up that she was expecting. And she knew exactly how and when it had happened, and just who, extraordinarily, was the father.

Richard had taken her out to dinner that night as previously planned, but Lois had been quite reserved for much of it. It wasn't until he'd walked her to her door that he asked what was wrong. She tried to let him down easy, having already decided that her life was now going to be wrapped around her child, and she probably wouldn't have room in it for someone else. But that's when he surprised her with a proposal.

_You hardly know me_, she'd complained, but after he went inside with her to continue his argument, he explained that she'd captured his heart. That's when she dropped the bombshell and told him she was pregnant, expecting that to scare him off.

That did set him back but he didn't leave, and he promised that if she would have him, he'd gladly raise the child as his own. Lois couldn't believe that such a man existed.

Over the next few months, as they settled together in a house, Lois' fretfulness over Superman's departure grew to anger. She knew things about him firsthand that others had only read about. And she was certain that he must've known she was pregnant, thanks to his x-ray vision, and that was why he'd left. He was just like every other typical guy out there, afraid to death of commitment. When just a hint of commitment had surfaced in the creation of a new life, he'd run away.

Soon, her anger at him was just her easy way of coping with the loss of the man she'd loved.

Richard, on the other hand, had been her rock. He'd never once asked who the father of her child was, although she knew he must've had suspicions; he just accepted Jason as his own, even while he was in the womb. Lois never denied him as Jason's daddy, and their friends and family and the world accepted it as truth.

It seemed only right that _Richard_ was the first one that came to their rescue.

* * *


	3. Part Three: Forgive Me if I Slip Away

**Part Three: **Forgive Me if I Slip Away

They'd installed a door chime for Jason's protection when they moved into the house, knowing that living on the water held drowning risks for small children and they'd need to know if he ever went through the door. Being the middle of the night, Richard was surprised to hear it now, but thought it might be worth checking on for safety's sake.

Standing just inside the French doors, Richard watched Lois walk to a spot in the backyard, starting to pull out a cigarette, only to put it away again. He knew she was still upset about Superman being so near death, which only cemented in his mind what he'd suspected. She _had_ been different since the hero had returned after being gone for so long, and Richard didn't believe her when she said she didn't ever love him. It was written all over her face, on her sagging shoulders and sad eyes, and laced throughout the desperation in her voice on the plane after they'd saved him. She'd once loved Superman with everything in her, and he suspected she still did.

As if conjured up by his own imagination, Superman drifted from above their house and hovered over the water. Richard half-smiled when he heard Jason yell out his "goodnight" to the hero he'd admired so much, and then realized the truth that he was speaking to his real father. Superman and Lois carried on a very short conversation that Richard couldn't hear, lest he open the door and make his presence known, and then he flew away. Richard watched as Lois' eyes followed him out of sight, ending with a smile at her son, and then slowly made her way inside. Richard didn't try to hide.

_It's him, isn't it?_ He asked as soon as she stepped inside and closed the door behind her.

_Yeah, that was Superman_, she smiled as if relieved, pointing over her shoulder to the outside. _He's better now._

_He's Jason's father._ He wasn't mad – he just wanted her to confirm it, but Lois bit her lip and tried to leave the room. But he wasn't done. _You still love him, don't you?_

Lois tried to leave the room and avoid his questions, but he just kept making his assumptions, until finally, he offered to leave to give her the room she needed to tell Jason the truth. Richard swore that he'd be fine since he idolized Superman so much, but she convinced him not to do anything drastic.

_We'll all sit down and figure out something together_, she suggested, and it was only then, when she'd admitted that he was speaking the truth, that Richard gave in.

That was a conversation he was looking forward to witnessing, but he doubted it would end with him still a part of Lois' family. More than anything, he wanted her to be happy, and he knew from her behavior since Superman returned that she could never love him the same way she did the man in blue. And Jason deserved to know his real father. Richard was sure he'd just be in the way from now on.

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	4. Part Four: I'll Come Back to You One Day

**Part Four: **I'll Come Back to You One Day

_Lois, we need to talk_. He practiced the words in his head all day long as he worked beside her, all the while she had no idea the father of her child was in the same office. Finally he got his chance when they went out to cover a story that turned into a disaster. He managed to make an excuse and leave, only to return as Superman, and once the fire was contained and the victims were tended to, he found Lois on the sidewalk and made his request quietly known.

Lois suspected what the topic of their conversation might be, but in an area of town surrounded by photographers and reporters and onlookers, it wasn't the right time or place. She nodded a curt goodbye and walked past him, knowing he'd hear her when she whispered, "Not here. Top of the _Planet_, one hour."

An hour later, she was waiting on the roof of the paper's building, this time determined not to be caught off guard. She scanned the sky, walking in circles, looking for him until he appeared just past the rotating planet that topped the building. She kept her eyes on him as he floated down to the floor, crossing her arms on her chest in subconscious defense.

"Thank you for seeing me," he spoke first. "And for telling me about Jason."

She nodded and stared down at the floor beneath his boots for a moment. "Richard knows. He thinks Jason should know." He opened his mouth as if to protest, and she held up her hand. "I told him that I think he's too young, but Richard insists he needs to spend time with you as soon as possible. He's afraid he might resent us for keeping the truth from him for so long if we wait."

"We'll talk about that." He took a few steps closer. "I came to say I'm sorry."

Laughing sardonically, Lois shook her head. "You're gone for six years and you're sorry? You've couldn't have said anything _before_ you left??"

"I…" he mumbled speechlessly. "I didn't want to hurt you."

"You didn't know that leaving without a word would do that?"

"I…didn't think I had a choice."

She was letting the anger build again. "You left me alone and pregnant, Ka—" She clammed up just a syllable away from saying the birth name he'd shared with her all those years before, during their brief relationship. He remembered hearing the way she'd whisper it in their most intimate of moments and understood why she didn't want to say it now.

"I didn't know you were pregnant," he quietly vowed. "If I had, Lois, you know I would not have left."

His promise combined with her brief embarrassment from nearly speaking the name she'd had in her confidence for all these years – having never shared it with the public – made her mute.

He drew even closer, now only a few feet away from her. "I wish I had known," he whispered. "I would've loved to share that with you."

She shook her head at herself, suddenly feeling stupid. "All this time, I thought you had seen the baby with your x-ray vision and you just didn't want to deal with it. So you left."

"No, Lois," he stated emphatically.

Tears in her eyes, she started laughing. "We must have the worst timing of anyone in the world. You leave right before I find out we're having a baby, and you come back, after five years that our child has been raised with another man as his father. I don't know how we're supposed to fix this now."

"Especially since you have Richard," he pointed out and Lois' expression sobered.

"Yeah, well…" she sighed. "He's only still around because I asked him to stay until we figured out what was best for Jason. He wants to leave. He thinks he's in the way now."

With just one more of his steps and he was right in front of her. "Of you and me?"

He could hear her heart beating faster, even as she admitted, "What he doesn't get is that I'm still mad at you for leaving."

One half of his mouth quirked when he knew she hadn't answered his question. "Can't you forgive me for making a mistake I will never repeat?" He reached to caress her cheek, glad that she obviously still had feelings for him as he did her. "And know that I will never stop loving you?"

She closed her eyes and a tear ran down her cheek, as she tried to hold on to her senses. "Jason will be confused."

"We'll help him through that."

"He'd miss Richard."

"We'll make sure that he gets to see him often."

"Everyone will know that he's different."

"No one has to know. We'll keep him safe."

Out of arguments, Lois lifted her hands and placed her palms on his firm chest, pressing her face against him, feeling his warmth. There she let out a sigh she'd been holding onto for nearly six years. "I've missed you."

He hugged her, holding her close for several minutes as she allowed the anger she'd harbored for so long to just float away on the breeze around them. But he knew it might soon return.

"Lois," he began carefully, without letting her go. "There is something else I need to tell you, only in the interest of being completely honest with you from now on…"

She pulled away and looked up at him, slightly worried. "There's something else?"

His lips pursed in reply, he reached into his suit, pulled out a pair of glasses that he slipped over his eyes…

And Lois gasped.

_~End_

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_A/N: Hope you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading! And if you would like a birthday ficlet from me, go to **emstories** on livejournal to ask for one!_


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